She says...You have worms!

So I called my friend Lori tonight to get cheered up, and I ended up telling her about my trip to Myrtle Beach earlier this week and how I had enjoyed sushi, only to "enjoy it" later that night, and ended up basically peeing out of my butt for 5 days. I actually celebrated the fact that I had a solid poop just a few days ago.

But strangely enough, I have started to have more problems down yonder, if you get my drift. To which Lori says, "Oh, you have worms! Hee."

He said..."You're crushing my BALLS!"

This is what my littlest he, Griff, said to us while being squeezed on HE's lap. At a restaurant. Out loud. Really loud.

That kid cracks me up.

She said...I love BNL!

So He and I went to the BNL (that's Barenaked Ladies for those you stuck in Siberia) concert yesterday. 4th Row, center...It was incredible!

I have more and more respect for these guys. They are witty and smart (not as much as Lori, though) and truly seem to love what they do.

What I don't have respect for is the drunkard lady next to us that spent all night looking at HIM and slurring, "HE'S SO00000 TALLLLLLL! I CAN'T BUH-LEEEVE HOW TAAAALLL HE ISSSSSSSH."

Um, yeah, he sure is tall, lady. And you smell. BADDDDDLY.

PS> Bonus BNL: I got hit with Tyler's stick as they were saying toodles and the drunk ended up grabbing it before I did. I almost punched her, but my hand hurt from getting clipped by the stick. Fortunately, HE saw a guitar pick that landed on the ground near us, unclaimed, and my oldest son is going to be so excited to get it for Christmas!

He said...I'm a Pure Nerd...and proud of it!

Pure Nerd 60 % Nerd, 39% Geek, 21% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 58% on nerdiness You scored higher than 46% on geekosity You scored higher than 27% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid,

I'm a Modern, Cool Nerd!

Modern, Cool Nerd 60% Nerd, 56% Geek, 8% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd. Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 58% on nerdiness You scored higher than 76% on geekosity You scored higher than 4% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos

She says...He doesn't think it's funny

So I asked if HE thought my blog about our fight was amusing, and he kind of rolled his eyes at me and says, "Well, I did read it and I didn't think it needed to broadcast all over the world like that."

THE WORLD. And he claims I exaggerate!

He really did say, "...your..."

So there are days that I am up for a fight. I can't really explain it, other than my family fought about EVERYTHING, and therefore I am genetically predisposed to fighting. That must be it.

Anyway, we just got into it because of laundry. More specifically me asking him to do it. It went something like this:

SHE: "So would go down and throw some of my black work stuff in the laundry?"

HE: "Um...no. Why don't YOU go down and do your laundry? I don't ever seem to do it right, so maybe you should go do it."

SHE: [FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT]

HE: [FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT]

SHE: "Fine. I'll go down and do MY laundry."

HE: "Well that's nice. Don't do any of mine."

SHE, smugly: "Well, you told me to only do mine."

At this point I'm pretty proud of myself, I stomp down stairs, sort ALL the laundry and start a load of black. With his stuff in it. I walk back upstairs, and HE is busying himself with changing the toilet seat, which we just bought this evening.

HE: "So....you didn't really only do your laundry, right?"

SHE: "Huh. Why yes I did. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO."

HE: "Sheesh! I did not! That is not what I meant, and you know it. I can't believe you didn't do ANY of my laundry!"

Now at this point, I know that all 2 of you who are reading this may be wondering why exactly I lied about doing his laundry, too. It's just that I can't let him have the satisfaction of knowing that even though he told me to do ONLY my laundry, that I still did his, too. Because that would be mean.

I know. It makes no sense. But that is just the way it is...for now.

She says...I'm a no good unemployed bum.

Okay, so I'm only unemployed for 3 days, but it feels really wierd not having a place to call WORK. So I'm sporting Rod Stewart Morning Hair (as I affectionately call it) and it's 12:30 in the afternoon.

Must. Become. Human.

Off to the showers!

He said...Who knew turning 30 makes you an oldie?

Last Saturday, I found myself in disbelief...and feeling OLD!

While traveling down to Mazeppa for a costume party (where SHE & I finished second for the "Best Costume" with our Plug & Socket costumes), we were scanning the radio, playing "Who Sings It?" - A good game for road trips - Trust me.

Anyway, the scan stopped and we heard some good ol' tunes from the 80's. We started to "Rock Out" and sing along to the likes of Quiet Riot and Spandau Ballet when I noticed that the station the scan had stopped on was none other than...KQQL 108...the oldies station.

NO!!! The 80's are oldies? Since when? I'm a child of the 80's...I'm 30...and apparently an oldie myself.

Nonetheless, we continued to listen to the "Golden Oldies of the 80's" as we continued on down the road.

Another HE says..."That's because I'm French!"

My co-workers response to me exclaiming at lunch today, "Oh my god, that is so rude, Pierre!"

'Nuff said. Sorry for insulting all the cool French folk out there.

She says, "What's good for the goose..."

...Is good for the gander. Gander Mountain, that is!

So I've given notice at US Bank and I've accepted a position at Gander. I have made some great friends at the Bank, in fact a best friend of two (whether they know it or not). It's bittersweet thing, because I wasn't unhappy at USB (okay, maybe a little unhappy - but that's really no the point), it's just this opportunity feels really amazing!

And I realize that this is the first job I have left BECAUSE I CAN, not because of layoffs or a major family move. And I actually have an executive package and benefits with a great salary. Man, I feel so damn grown up!

She says...HE WON!

Okay, Internet, I have ignored you for over two months. Not entirely, though, because I did use you for LOTS of information, I just didn't share any of my information with you. Sorry.

After an incredibly busy two months, I can happily say that HE won his bid for the President of the Minnesota Jaycees. YEAH!! It was a 4-way contested race, and he won. In fact he won HANDILY.

I'm so proud of him. Plus I'm excited about being First Lady. Now I have an even better reason to wear tiaras. And pearls...I think I need to add pearls...

WHEE!

She says...BOHMBACH? That's my husband's last name.

So, yesterday, I had a conversation with the Annoying Person on Earth (let's call him APE). Now, in all my life, I never thought I would have lunch everyday with the APE, but unbelievably, I do. I blame the "work hubby", but that's a whole different story for a later time.

Anyway, I caught the APE and Pierre (my euro-canadian boyfriend) as I was leaving work to head home and they mentioned that they missed me at lunch. Yeah, yeah. Pierre said that he met my replacement, so there. When I asked who it was, the APE said, "I think her name is Sarah. Sarah Bohmbach."

I looked at him through squinty eyes and said, "Bohmbach?"

APE: "Yep, Bohmbach."

ME: "Well, she is probably related to me then. By marriage."

APE: "Why do you think that?"

ME: "Uh, because my husband's last name is Bohmbach."

APE: "Really? My grandma's maiden name was Bohmbach."

ME: "The Red Wing Bohmbach's?"

APE: "Uh-huh..."

It's at that very moment that we both realize we are related to each other. After the nuclear bomb goes off in my brain from the revelation, I just stare at him like this can't possibly be true. He's nodding his head like he has just heard a dirty joke.

PIERRE: "This is the best moment. IN. ALL. MY. ADULT. LIFE."

Me: "Dear god, Pierre, you life is dull."

Moral of the story? Be careful how much you let someone truly amuse/annoy you. They may turn out to be your second cousin-in-law.

She says...stop the madness!

Dear Terrorists,
So you think that bombing our infrastructure systems, buildings, monuments and any other symbolic feature, will strike fear into our allies, our friends, our families? Well, maybe for a day, for a week, for a year or longer. And perhaps you think that is a victory. I get that.

But what I don't think you get is that there are more optimists than fatalists, and more pacifists than terrorists. While you're actions will exacerbate the fears of the ignorant minority, I truly believe that you strike resolve in the hearts of most of us who will not let you control our lives, and ruin the rest of the world in the process.

Someday allowing for (and possibly embracing) our differences, versus insisting on a "assimilate or die" attitude, may get you a lot further than where you've gotten today.

For today you have reinforced that your ideal will never be. I make that promise to you and to my children.

She says..I am HOW old?

I am working from home today, due to some issues with our Xcel utility service. Someone has to be home when they show up, let them take a look in our basement.

So I called into a meeting, and when I announced myself, the leader of the meeting asked before about 10 other attendees, "So how is your gas situation?"

I burst out laughing and said, "Personally, I'm fine. The house is a whole other situation!" That's right, I shared my perception of my colonic fortitude with the group.

Yes, I am 10 years old today. Hee hee. She said GAS.

She says...is anyone out there?

I know. I'm a whiner.

But it's been a month since I last posted, INTERNET, and no one seems to care. Maybe we're not exciting. Maybe we're too exciting?

Yeah, that's it. We're so exciting that people don't know what to say to us except...

NOTHING.

If anyone is out there, please let me know. I think I'm having a "it's not really about me?" realization.

Poo.

She says, *COUGH*

Ugh. I'm not sure if I have a severe case of allergies or a cold, but whatever it is...I GIVE UP. YOU WIN, I LOSE!

And I'm not sure if taking cold medication is the best thing for me. Fuzzy in the head Erin vs. Snot machine Erin. Now there is a grudge match.

Either way...I lose.

*COUGH*

She says...VEGAS, BABY!

I just got done packing for Las Vegas. I'm a professed "emotional dresser", so therefore I permit myself to pack twice as many shoes and clothes than I will actually need for my 6 day trip.

I'm going to my first Rational User Conference, where I get to hobknob with the RUP elite. But what is cool, is I am part of the largest RUP adoption in the globe right now. Vendors are really paying attention, and I'm getting all sorts of interesting phone calls and emails with the sole purpose of schmoozing.

I dig my new job. I only wish HE could come with me, since it is almost our 10 month anniversary (or is that monthiversary) of getting married...at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. Elvis, Fountains, the whole works.

Check out the great pictures my sister-in-law took. http://www.theimagelab.com/gallery/ejwedding/

I miss the kids and him already, even while he sits snoring on the chair waiting for me to get done, because he doesn't like to go to bed without me. God, I love that man.

He said...*cough*

Getting better...but not completely yet!

*cough*

Sorry.

She says....knock that sh*t off!!

He's is not kidding...that motherf*cking cough is getting my on my last godd@mn nerve.

My previous sentence, in re-reading it, makes me consider that I:

1. Am a crabby b*tch
2. Believe I am about to get my period - awesome!
3. Apparently think it is less profane if I substitute characters for letters in real swear words

Having a husband who is constantly hacking like our cat when he has a nasty hairball, on Mother's Day, when you have a ginormous case of PMS, is the BEST EVER.

The. F*cking. End.